The term “dating” is constantly evolving over time. As someone who recently started to date again after ending a long-term relationship, I realize that we live in a world where everyone refuses to commit because they are waiting for someone “better” to come along or afraid of feeling vulnerable.
Social media plays a big role in providing temptation because of its quick accessibility that feeds our desires for attention (which we often confuse for affection/real feelings). Thus, hookup apps, like Tinder and Bumble to name a few, were born.
I had always been completely against hookup apps and online dating. However, many of my friends have been using them for years, and one friend even met her future husband on Tinder. Still a skeptic, I decided to try a social experiment to prove why Tinder is a waste of time.
So, I downloaded the app to see if everyone on there was just a f*ckboy or if there are any decent guys.
The first step was creating my profile. If I was going to use this app for this story, why not have a little fun with it?
In three days I matched with more than 70 guys between the ages of 21-35. Here are some of my encounters:
This guy has one regular picture and about five of himself in his uniform, with mostly action shots of him either throwing, kicking, or catching something or just standing out there on the field.
He comes at you aggressively and holds no punches.
The Dog Lover
This only works if he’s as cute (or cuter) than his four-legged friend.
The Group Photo Guy
He has six group shots all way too far away for you to figure out, “which friend are you?”
Whether he’s someone you dated briefly or long term, in the wise words of Queen Bey, swipe “to the left, to the left.”
This guy doesn’t give up easily, even days later when you stop answering.
He’s tanned, toned, and tatted and has a star shaved into the side of his slicked back hair. He probably peaked in high school. #GTL
The Old Guy
His profile says “32” but his face and receding hairline scream “40.”
The Juice Head
He’s shirtless in the mirror flexing, drinking a protein shake, or staring at his veiny biceps while he’s mid bicep-curl. #DoYouEvenLift?
The Frat Star
He’s decked out in head-to-toe Vineyard Vines with a pair of Sperry’s to top it off. He’s posing between two of his best bros holding a cold one or sailing his boat. Right on, brah.
He’s some stalker-type with a picture of a girl with a rope around her neck, just trying to get his Christian Grey on. Somehow, I feel like swiping right to this would be the first step to being kidnapped.
Last but certainly not least, The Nice Guy
He’s a rare find in this sea of creepiness, but he exists. He’s actually down to earth, doesn’t drop cheesy pickup lines, and is easy to talk to and have a real conversation.
There are most certainly f*ckboys (a lot) and guys who just want to get in your pants, but they’re everywhere in the real world and not just confined to online dating/hookup apps. My biggest problem with the app is that it allows you to be even more mindlessly shallow than normal. I found myself swiping left if I didn’t like a guy’s hair color, height, and even his name. I swiped left so many times that Tinder threw in a female profile once in awhile like, “are you sure?”
I think the biggest lesson I’ve taken from this experience is not to be so judgmental about the people who use these sorts of apps and not to judge people so quickly based on appearance or age. It was not just the younger men in my age range that sent me strange messages. Overall, some of my matches were decent guys.
However, I’m a firm believer that whether you’re looking for a one nightstand or something more that it is more ideal to put in a little effort and speak to someone face to face.
Our generation is constantly hiding behind a screen and relying on texting and social media to communicate. We even ignore real life conversations and divert our attention from people we spend time with to look at our phones.
It is time to get back to the real world and put down the phones. We already live inside our screens and pass people that are interesting and good looking all the time but we’re too consumed with technology to notice; always trying to find the next best thing instead of seeing what’s already in front of us.
Go over and say “hi” to that cute guy at the gym. Go start a conversation with that girl in the bar. Whatever may come of it, it’s time to bring back the art of conversation and human interaction instead of just waiting around for someone to fall into our laps or slide into our DMs. Otherwise, you might miss out on something great.
This article was previously published in The Pace Chronicle